Scientific Way on Mending a Troubled Relationship
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If you searched the web for topics on how to fix a troubled relationship, you would most probably encounter too many websites to count, and some may be more confusing than they are helpful. Have you tried fixing your relationship through a scientific approach? This may just be the answer to your relationship woes.
1. Focus on the Positive, Reduce the Negative
When you spend a lot of time in a relationship, you will start to see both the good and bad traits of your partner. Instead of focusing on the negative, increase the positive. Research shows that trying to change people normally doesn't work.
When couples focused on changing their partner, individuals reported more negative improvement strategies and lower improvement success, resulting in more negative relationship evaluations. According to the results of the study, when you target your partner to change, it may do more harm than good.
Most arguments cannot be resolved due to the fact that couples try to change each other's mind, which simply cannot be done. The root of the problem is due to the fundamental differences of lifestyle, personality, or values. Instead of focusing on the bad aspects, it is better to spend your time increasing the good things.
2. Cooperate Not Compete
According to psychologists, humans are quick to engage in social comparison. The social comparison theory is where people constantly judge their own worth relative to others.
Some studies revealed that as much as 10 percent of our thoughts involved comparisons of some kind. This theory was developed by psychologist Leon Festinger in 1954. Although some studies show that people who regularly compare themselves with others may find the motivation to improve, it also increases negative feelings like dissatisfaction, guilt, and engage in destructive behaviors like lying or disordered eating.
It is normal to socially compare yourself with your partner especially if he or she is an achiever. While it is always good to take their achievements as a source of motivation, do not make it a competition. Don't be resentful if your partner experiences more career success, and don't feel better if you're doing a better job than your partner. The relationship is a partnership, be happy for each other's successes, by adopting this mentality, it will make you a better partner.
3. Believe in the Power of Radical Change
When you find your relationship in serious trouble, don't wait around and hope for things to get better. Get up and do something to avoid facing regrets down the road. Sometimes the best way to mend a broken relationship is taking a radical intervention. Do things with your partner that you have never done before and try to re-conceptualize the entire premise of your relationship.
When you fall into a rut it is best to set aside time to break away from the same old dull routine, and do something new. Psychological research shows that partners who experience more positive emotions together reported greater happiness.
Express gratitude when the situation calls for it. When you and your partner have something good together, being grateful can make it even better.
Gratitude contributes to a positive feedback loop in your relationship and can influence the other's behaviors, perceptions, and feelings.
If you've got something good together, being grateful can make it even better.
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Oct 18, 2020 11:00 PM EDT
